Friday On My Mind

Did you watch the BBC2 comedy series Big Train where they had the International Blinking Championships, commentary by Barry Davies? Well this is the footballing equivalent. Which team has the cojones or huevos (is that right Span?) and will go out and win the semi-final place rather than wait for it to come to them.

Argentina have been the team of the tournament for me, because they have played with the right mindset and spirit, look how they came back against Mexico, yes Heinze should have been sent off but that may be their bit of luck for this year. Maxi Rodriguez has been my player of the tournament, not just for his part in two of the best goals but also because he seems to be everywhere, which is a sign of confidence.

Germany have had the luck of the draw and as host nation you could expect that, Poland, Costa Rica, Ecuador and Sweden are hardly the four most difficult teams to beat are they? They've also had nearly a week to rest and if they start at a high tempo I think they can give Argentina a good run for their money. I think the midfield area will decide the match, if Argentina can by-pass Frings and Schweinsteiger then any two from Crespo, Saviola, Messi or Tevez will be too good for the German centre backs Mertesacker and Metzelder. If Germany take control of the midfield they will win.

Italy v Ukraine is the match of the penalty winners, Italy with the dubious one and Ukraine beating Switzerland in the shoot-out. Italy look too strong on paper and if they come to the game with their heads right then I think they could score two or three goals, Shevchenko will be playing up front alone again and I think the back four of Italy will keep him quiet.

FIFA Should Ban Henry

Yet another cheating bastard gets away with it.





If FIFA really does have any balls then they should make an example of Thierry Henry by banning him from the Quarter Final against Brazil. The big sulky one was on his best acting behaviour when he collided with Carles Puyol and fell to the ground clutching his face in a way that Rivaldo would have applauded.

They used to say cheats don't prosper but Henry's oscar winning performance resulted in the free-kick which led to his side's second goal in their 3-1 World Cup victory over Spain. It was obvious that the goal affected the moral of Spain's younger and more talented side.

Of course we all knew it was going to happen, the culture of cheating that his club manager Arsene Wenger encourages with his myopic view of his lying, diving, cheating side has reached such epidemic proportions that his players expect to get away with it at international level. And Henry himself had said in a moment of gloriously sour grapes at the end of the Champions League final, a match in which he was as effective as stick of wet celery in a hurry, that in future he would dive if required.

I hope Brazil show them how to play football in the quarter finals.

Spanish Dream Snuffed Out By Old Men

So Spain blew it again. Taking a well deserved lead, congrats to the ref for spotting the penalty, unlike ITV Clive Tyldesley who accused Pabli Ibanez of "going sown in installments' as Lilian Thuram tried to break his ankle, you would have thought that Spain could applied their geometrical passing patterns to getting the ball in the net. Unfortunately they had underestimated the power of old heads and young legs as Zidane, Vieira, Thuram and Sagnol got Ribery, Henry, Malouda and Abidal to do the running for them.

I have this horrible feeling that France will beat Brazil, then beat Portugal and win the Cup by defeating Ukraine on penalties.

The Zidane Triplets - we came to bury them but ended up
(begrudgingly) praising him.

Thanks Gavin

This post was partly inspired by Gavin's response to the Italy penalty and also by comments I made to my wife during the Switzerland v Ukraine snorfest.

FIFA have, since the 1990 World Cup in Italy, outlawed tackling from behind, tackling from the side if it appears to be from behind, simulation, passing back to your goalkeeper, waving imaginary yellow cards, feigning injury (players must leave the field), time wasting if the ball is not in play (despite one of 5Live's commentators insisting you can be booked for wasting time when the ball is in play!) and players wearing their shirts outside their shorts. They also abolished the four step rule for goalkeepers and introduced a new six second rule which everybody, except Thierry Henry, has ignored.

But players are smart and they have adapted:

1) Gary Lineker started it in 1990 against Cameroon, the trick of 'drawing a foul' by leaving your leg trailing as you run into a prone goalkeeper.
2) Tripping yourself up, Owen v Argentina in 2002, Shevchenko v Tunisia in 2006 being good examples.
3) Blocking. It's been made illegal in Rugby Union but is practically compulsory in football, not the annoying habit of a defending player standing between ball and attacker as the ball runs over the goal line but the less subtle way of standing between the opposition runner and the ball anywhere on the pitch. In the Ghana v USA, Brian McBride was blocked off on the half way line after a long punt by Kaisey Keller. Think Champions League at Stamford Bridge two years ago, Carvallaho blocking the Barca goalkeeper for Chelsea's winner. So unconcerned are FIFA by this that Jose Mourinho even made an American Express advert where the tactic is featured!
4)Judo tackles: Remember when you were about eight or nine you would try to trip your mates up by putting your leg across the bottom of his shin, players are doing that, it's effectively a tackle from behind done from the front.
5)Greco-Roman Wrestling: You grab your opponent around the neck at a corner and run into an oncoming opponent taking two players out at once, it looks like an accident and the ref. is none the wiser.

Now, all this brings me to the bigger issue - the use of technology and helping the officials. One thing I have noticed about this debate is that all those people whose lives are directly influenced by the decisions of the referee and his assistants say we should have it. They know that a dodgy decision could result in somebody losing their job, we aren't talking about an era when £7 was the average wage and the players caught the bus to the ground with the fans, at a time when it costs £50 to watch Chelsea at home the product should be better.

All those who pimp off it (people like John Motson, Alan Green and Adrian Durham to name three high profile presenters/commentators) say no to technology. Those who fall between the two, that is the journalists who work for newspapers are generally in favour of it. The detractors say it will slow the game down but that is not the case, look at the West Ham v Middlesbrough game last season when our goal was clearly not over the line, both Alan Pardew and Steve Mclaren had seen the Sky replay on the monitor before the referee was back in the centre circle having spoken to his assistant. What the detractors won't admit is that it will take away their livelihood, it's not about commentating it's about speculation, the big decisions, the post match phone-ins, 606 and 505 - nothing to talk about if there isn't any dodgy refeering.

It doesn't undermine the referee's confidence it will enhance it. Restrict it to goal mouth incidents only to begin with and take it from there.

At present 30 seconds are allowed per substitution and per booking. Do away with the 30 seconds per sub ruling and give that time over to a fourth official getting subs on and off and allow a maximum of five minutes per game for television replays. Given that Sky have just signed the biggest ever deal for Premiership rights, don't we deserve a better service?

Ukraine v Switzerland

Trouble? What Trouble?

Nearly 500 arrested in World Cup scuffles

Courtesy of the News & Observer, North Carolina.

What a great word scuffles is. Makes the 'trouble' in Stuttgart sound like closing time at the Con Club on a Saturday night.

Oh, and here's the BBC headline for the same incident:

England fans held by riot police

That's more like it, a bit of Sturm und Drang.

Top Totti Breaks Oz Hearts

So Harry Kewell went missing again, the player (calling him a man would be an insult to the rest of us) who limped out of the Carling Cup, European Cup and F.A Cup Finals, misses his country's biggest ever football match - what a wanker.

Finished work early to see this and I have to say I don't think some of the Australian's believed they could win it whereas Italy played as if it was only a matter of time. Watching Italy play in the last few minutes was like watching the great 49ers QB Joe Montana in the mid eighties slowly moving his offense downfield, you knew they were going to win, but the manner of defeat can be so cruel, a dubious pen in the final minute of added on time.












Italy's tactics once Marco Matterazi was sent off were spot on - Lippi actually appears to know what's going on - they just said to Australia, "Come on then, try and beat us." I didn't think for one minute that the gold shirts would win and I have to say that Viduka and Cahill showed their lack of class once more, what a pity they couldn't much the energy of some of the lesser known players in the team.









Could be worse Schwarzie baby, you could be going home to be managed by an ex-international with no coaching experience or the relevant qualifications to do the job - what's that? Oh yeah, sorry mate.

Oh Well, After The Lord Mayor's Show

First off, I'm sure the commentator said Nelly Furtado is playing for Ecuador. Still if we can have Canadian born Owen Hargreaves I suppose it's only fair they can have Canadian born Nelly.












"This one's for all you Ecuador fans - one Agustin Delgardo, there's only one......................"

Well, England are rubbish aren't they? And where did Joe Cole and John Terry learn to dive like that? Oh yes, the same place as Arjen Robben, Asier Del Horno and Ricardo Carvallho all leant to dive. Not a pretty first half was it, although I wish Alan Green would stop saying it's not very entertaining - if you want entertainment go to the cinema. Poor Wayne Rooney, more isolated than Menzies Campbell and just as effective, Carrick is on the team sheet but not on the pitch but hey.....here they come for the second half.

England 0-0 Ecuador

Well I suppose the ends justify the means, but when will us England supporters enjoy some filet mignon instead of being fed Mr Dog? The second half wasn't much better. David Beckham made two contributions one of which was the match winning free kick, the other was seconds after discovering he'd eaten cuy for lunch and promptly threw it up onto the pitch.

Good Points? Ashley Cole, Owen Hargreaves, Stevie G and Wayne Rooney lasting 90 minutes, oh and we're through.
Bad Points? Fat Frank, Rio and that bloke in the captain's armband.







Sven contemplating Portugal or
Holland on Saturday.

Match of The Tournament? (So Far)

Having watched the ruthlessly, efficient Klinsmann Machine turnover a Swedish side limper than a week old smorgasboard I was looking forward to the Argentina v Mexico match with more than a little excitement. This was going to be the best attacking side so far, with Riquelme pulling the strings, against the best organised defence with my old mate Rafael Marquez organising things at the back from the Mexicans.

Well it certainly disappoint, barely had Nathalie forecast a 7-0 win for Mexico, to which I replied if that did happen I'd be down the shops at opening time to buy her a laptop, than Rafael had put the green shirts in the lead! Within five minutes Borgetti showed that he can score goals at this level by heading past his own keeper to bring the Argentine's level. The rest of match was superb, end to end, some great passing, two dodgy decisions: Heinze should have been sent off at the end of the first forty five minutes and Messi's 'winning' goal should have stood at the end of ninety.

Now generally when it comes to extra time in the World Cup it's usually a case of the first to blink loses, neither team commits any men forward in case they get beating by the sucker punch of a counter attack. Not these two teams though, they wanted to avoid penalties and eight minutes in extra time we had the goal of the tournament so far, Sorin crossed the ball from the left hand side to Maxi Rodriguez and, having chested the ball down, hits the mother of all left foot volleys - unbelievable.

The chest control followed by the volley - superb.

From Now On It's Serious

The phoney war is over, lose the next match and its Gute Nacht Stuttgart or wherever you happen to be playing. Sixteen teams gone, of which only three were seeds which isn't bad (Czech Republic, Serbia & Montenegro and Poland) and I don't think the competition is any weaker for them not being around.

Argentina have been the most impressive, any team that can alternate Saviola and Crespo for Tevez and Messi has something good going for them. England have been good and bad, sometimes in the same match and sometimes in the same half and this idea that they can turn it on when it comes to the knockout stages remains to be seen.

Best Players so far: Riquelme and Essien
Biggest Let-Down: David Beckham (again) - he is not a captain and watching him get annoyed with Edman (the Swedish defender who used to play for Spuds) was pathetic - when the going gets tough captains don't jump out of tackles or attempt half nelsons on the opposition.
Best Bit Of Skill: Patrick Vieira's nod down for Thierry Henry's goal - not the most spectacular but he ran thirty five yards to be the only supporting player
Best Fans: South Korea - the noise they made in the second half against France was unbelievable, volume turned up to eleven.

How I see the round of 16:

Saturday, 24 June
Argentina v Mexico - Argentina will prove too strong from Mexico and I expect them to win by two or three goals.
Germany v Sweden - Michael Ballack will be the key to this one, Sweden can trouble the static German defence with their movement and I wouldn't be surprised if this one goes to Extra Time before Germany book their place in the Berlin quarter-final against Argentina.

Sunday, 25 June
England v Ecuador - It's going to be 95 degrees in old money in Stuttgart so prepare for the 'it was too hot' excuses if we lose, which we won't.
Portugal v Holland - the tie of the round two sides who play one way. For a lot of the players this will be their final major competition: Ricardo, Carvallho, Ferrera, Figo, Pauleta, Nuno Gomez, Van De Sar, Cocu, Van Bommel, Van Nistelrooy and I expect ninety minutes of all out attacking with Portugal winning through to meet England in Gelsenkirchen.

Incidentally there's a question doing the rounds that if 'Big Phil' Scolari beats Sven for the third competition running (2002 WC and Euro 2004) does he get to keep him?

Monday, 26 June
Italy v Australia - I can't see anything but a footballing lesson being handed out in Kaisersalutern, if Italy turn up in the right frame of mind then they will win by three or more goals to set-up a quarter final with Ukraine who will beat Switzerland in Cologne.

Tuesday, 27 June 2006
Brazil v Ghana - the thing that has emerged from this World Cup is that African nations still haven't discovered a forward who can score goals. Michael Essien has been outstanding so far but I think Ghana will be going home as Brazil set up a quarter final in Frankfurt with Spain who will be too good for France.

Graham Poll is not from Singapore Claim

If Graham Poll was from Singapore, the phone-ins and back pages would be full of people saying it just proved that giving key matches to referees who have no experience of the 'big leagues' was a mistake. He managed to book one Croat defender three times, he missed two obvious Australian penalties and then allowed their equalising goal when Harry Kewell was a yard or two offside. This match went from an interesting first half to a very interesting second half as the two teams realised exactly what was at stake. Kewell and Viduka who generally swan around like a couple of big time Charlie's actually decided to play on the big stage at last and their reward is a match against Italy in the Round of 16.









This afternoon I watched Italy beat the Czech Republic 2-0 to win their group and Marcelo Lippi's side kept their remarkable unbeaten run in major competitions going, 1986 was the last time they lost a tie in normal time. Italy played a basic 4-5-1 formation and for long periods they seem to be toying with the Czech's who came to this tournament with a lot of promise but ultimately looked short on class. Pirlo and 'four lungs' Gattuso were peerless as always and I don't think the Azurri will have any problems beating the Australians.









Fatboy equalled Der Bombers record of 14 goals in World Cup Finals tonight when he scored two in Brazil's 4-1 victory over Japan. Brazil seem to be building up a head of steam, despite the fact that only Kaka and Robinho seem to be playing to their full potential, they will be playing Ghana who beat the U.S.A 2-1 courtesy of the dodgiest penalty in the World Cup so far. I'm not usually one for having a go at the referees but I have to say some of the decisions have been dreadful and not all of the poor ones have been made by Graham Poll.

World Champions?

You know when you watch a great sportsman and you sense that they are playing or competing within themselves, keeping a bit back for later? Well, I reckon we saw that last night when Argentina drew nil-nil with Holland. Despite resting Heinze, Sorin, Saviola, Crespo and a couple of others who would walk into England's squad, the blue and white stripes looked completely in control, making sure they qualified as Group winners. Yes, you could argue that they didn't score but they were so much in control in put other teams efforts in this competition into perspective, "too much perspective," as David St.Hubbins would say. The Argentina goalkeeper only had two saves to make and one of those was in the last couple of minutes of normal time.















Edwin van de Sar realises it's not Coventry City in the blue and white kit.

Earlier in the day I saw Portugal beat Mexico and once again there were some bizarre refereeing decisions. Potugal's Paulo Ferrera (another example of Jose Mourinho not knowing a poor full back when he sees one), managed to take out one poor Mexican with a knee high tackle only for the ref to give a goal kick and suggest the attacker was diving. Portugal's reserve side looked good until Mexico had a player sent off and then they seemed to lose their way, I can't see them beating Holland though.

Ivory Coast v Serbia & Montenegro was the footballing equivalent of a car crash, the more you looked, the more you wanted to look away. This was because the Serbs didn't want to play football, the Ivorians couldn't stand up long enough to actually play any football and that wonderful ref who thinks he's auditioning for a part in a Pedro Almodavar movie wouldn't let either side tackle without getting out a card of one colour or another. The whole game was summed up in the last couple of minutes when a tennis ball was thrown from the crowd narrowly missing the ref on the second bounce but he was too busy admonishing an Ivorian player to notice.

Sven's Three Follies

No, not Faria, Nancy and Ulrika

Schoolboy, Spudboy and Crutchboy.

Accra Mail

Part of the series on how competing countries newspapers are reporting their teams exploits, today the Accra Mail in Ghana.

Ratomir Djukovic, Black Stars coach has said the battle has just began after leading his team to beat Czech Republic 2-0 in a second Group game played in Cologne last Saturday.

The Serbian told the Media after the game that his focus was channeled towards the Ghanaians last Group E game slated for Nuremburg against the United States of America (USA) on Thursday. “It feels good to win but I consider the next game as the most important”.

Coach Djukovic said he had cut short their massive celebration to enable them focus on the game they would be requiring a win to ensure a place in the last 16. Djukovic said “we will treat every game with equal approach and respect. We know why every game is so important and will give it our all to make sure we come out successfully”.

The former Rwandan coach, attributed the team’s 0-2 loss to Italy in the opener to anxiety and believed Saturday’s win had brought the most desired confidence to enable the team thrive. His focus in the next few days would be building on that confidence, which he reckons remains a vital ingredient to the Stars success.

Ghana became the first debutants to win in the competition so far and the coach will be hoping to take it a step further by emulating fellow Africans like Cameroon and Senegal who previously made it to the knock out stages. The coach saluted his players for their commitment and hard work, which to him remained the key to Saturday’s success. Djukovic has come under the microscope in recent times and when he steps up against the Americans, he would be hoping the Stars deliver again to enable him to force his critics to eat humble pie.


Michael 'The Beast' Essien - showing he's just as capable of kicking people on the world stage as in the Premiership.

Bring on Ecuador

Okay, first a confession - anybody who has read my blog will know that I only saw from Sweden's first equaliser onwards live - but I did see the highlights later on BBC.

My only comments therefore are restricted to the woeful defending at set pieces by England, our get-out-of jail free card known as Stevie G and Joe Cole's stunning goal. Firstly, why play Sol Campbell at all, move Carragher inside, Hargreaves to right back and Carrick to hold - anyway hopefully Rio is ok and that's the last we've seen of Campbell and his pathetic displays in an England shirt. Secondly Joe Cole's goal, I have to admit it was brilliant but my initial reaction was, "it's good, but not very difficult technically." Before I'm accused of being Parker and Solomon on my own blog I just mean that the ball was coming towards him rather than over his shoulder, his foot was in the perfect position to hit the ball with the laces and the distance from the goal meant the ball was going to either drop in or on top of the net - for somebody of Joe's ability it wasn't difficult. Anyway Stevie G finally gets to show why he should be playing at the head of the diamond and not having to worry about the opposition on the edge of our box.




England supporters on the banks of the river in Cologne.
















Joe remembers everything Tony Carr taught him.

Sunday's Games

Koreans in China warned against "obnoxious" support

Sun 18 Jun, 2:48 AM
BEIJING, June 18 (Reuters) - South Koreans in China have been advised against "obnoxious" cheering for their team while watching World Cup matches and to avoid going home in large groups afterwards.

An embassy newsletter advised South Koreans resident in China not to be obnoxious when cheering for their team, to stay indoors during the late-night broadcast of the games and not to return home in groups to avoid being mistaken for protesters by Chinese security authorities.
South Korea co-hosted the last World Cup finals with Japan in 2002 and the huge red-clad crowds which swamped Korean city centres were one of the most memorable features of the tournament.

Well I guess after this evening's game that a lot of South Koreans are going to be going home with their hands over the mouths and their drums silent in their hands. Having played poorly for eighty minutes the Koreans equalised a Thierry Henrry goal and left the real possibility that Korea and Switzerland could go through instead of France.

Earlier we had seen Australia hold Brazil at bay for nearly an hour until Adriano scored the crucial goal that allowed Brazil to relax a little. Having said that Australia could have equalised if Harry 'the human enigman' Kewell had managed to score after Dida had dropped a cross under pressure from Mark Larduka. Fred made it two nil near the end when the ball came back of the post and left him with little option but to score.

Brazil go through as group winners leaving the seven Croatian born Australians to overcome the three Australian born Croatians in match 3.


Adriano celebrates Ronaldo being substituted.

Los Angeles Times

How The Los Angeles Times Reported the U.S.A v Italy game

Team Regains Respect With a Gritty Effort
June 18, 2006
KAISERSLAUTERN, Germany — For a team that still hasn't achieved any of the primary World Cup objectives — you know, like scoring goals and winning games — the United States had plenty of reasons to be proud Saturday night.The Americans could take pride in the stitches on forward Brian McBride's left cheek, the gauze sticking out of defenseman Jimmy Conrad's right nostril, the sweat on Coach Bruce Arena's forehead. They all reflected the effort and sacrifice that went into a 1-1 tie with Italy, a group-play point gained despite playing at a man disadvantage for most of the second half.

That the U.S. still has a chance to advance to the knockout round of competition is almost secondary. It's an added bonus, a gift courtesy of Ghana's surprising victory over the Czech Republic that reshaped Group E and put everyone in play. (There are a couple of scenarios that work out for the Americans, but the simplest is to beat Ghana and for Italy to beat the Czechs.)

The real U.S. achievement would have been the same regardless of the outcome of this game. They had a chance to redeem themselves after that dismal, 3-0 loss to the Czech Republic in the opener. They had a chance to show everyone that American soccer can compete with Europeans, even in Europe.

"You earn respect," goalkeeper Kasey Keller said. "And we earned it today, no question about it."

But this wasn't just about proving something to the rest of the world or giving validity to the commercials and magazine covers. That was the original agenda of Team USA, but that got lost somewhere between the second and third goals scored by the Czech Republic. Suddenly, they had inner doubts that needed to be addressed.

Those questions have been answered."We can look each other in the eyes and say we gave it everything that we had," Conrad said. "I think that was something that was missing in the Czech game."

Footnote: This report is the third item on the sports headlines page and it isn't even mentioned anywhere on the front page headlines.

Wow!

Remember those games when you were a kid or training with your local club where you played attack v defence? Well, the professionals do that as well, in the World Cup. Steve Wilson the BBC commentator put it brilliantly when he said at the end of the Ghana v Czech Republic match, "there were 144,000 chances and that was just Ghana."
As I've said a million times before Steve, "No need to exaggerate." The fact that Ghana scored in the second minute helped things, it meant the Czech's had to attack and the fitter but tactically naive Ghana could counter. This match had loads of good things, shots, saves, a sending-off, a player booked for taking a penalty when nobody was looking - well done Ghana 2-0 winners.


Ghanaian fans celebrate their teams first ever World Cup points.









Well if the afternoon game was exciting the evening match was going to blow the group wide open. Italy must really have fancied their chances against a USA side who looked as if they'd left any hope of points at home in the first game. Three sending-offs (De Rossi finally got sent off - something that should have happened against Ghana), a disallowed goal, Kaisey Keller's best game in a World Cup it had it all. It will be interesting to see how Italy react if they don't get at least a point from the Czech game, four years ago they blamed their early exit on a referee from Ecuador, two years ago the Swedish-Danish alliance produced a draw and knocked them out, but who will they be able to blame other than themselves this time? They were inept to the nth degree and on this form they will be having the customary tomatoes thrown at them come next Friday morning.

End of First Week Report

So here we are at the end of the first week and what have we learned so far?

Well, we've learned that if you have confidence in your own ability, in that of your team mates and in the tactics of your manager you can play 'weaker' opposition off the pitch- step forward: Argentina, Holland, Spain, Portugal, Italy and Czech Republic, we've learned however that if none of the above apply then you must be playing for England or Sweden. If you have only one or two genuine stars in your side but the hopes and expectations of a nation are gradually rising as you fight above your weight then you are Germany, Australia, Swizerland, Mexico or Ecuador

If you bring an ageing squad to the World Cup with the nations hopes pinned on your 'has-beens' then you are asking for trouble, I give you Croatia, Serbia & Montenegro, France, U.S.A and Brazil. If you come with little hope but belief in the fact that you can play your own game, enjoy the experience and take something away to build on then you are Ivory Coast, Angola or Trinidad & Tobago. If you defend like a pub team but give joy to millions of neutrals watching at home then you must be Ghana, Iran, Costa Rica, Paraguay, Japan, South Korea, Tunisia, Togo or Saudi Arabia.

If you've failed miserably then you are Polish.

And if you aren't in any of the above then you must be Ukraine.

Oh and while we're here:

Q: What's the difference between Poland and a tea bag?
A: A tea bag stays longer in the cup.

More Impressive Than Those Stupid Plastic Flags

Confused about your national identity? Then nip down to Toni & Guy for the World Cup Special.

I've Found The Answer

England's new World Cup Song

http://84.40.3.165/

And I bet none of you will be able to resist a smile in the first twenty seconds!

Argentina Put Down A Marker

Well I think I've seen the second best team goal of all time today. I never thought having diabetes could be a good thing but having to have a blood test meant I was at home to see Argentina beat Serbia & Montenegro 6-0 and witness a twenty four pass move that ended with Hernan Crespo back heeling a one-two with Esteban Cambiasso and the midfielder blasting the ball into the roof of the net from fifteen yards. The goal would probably be considered the best of all time if Brazil's hadn't been against the classically obdurate Italian defence in 1970. What this game did prove was that Argentina are in the mood and having spent half an hour of the second half toying with the Serbs they rounded things off with subs Tevez and Messi getting in on the goal scoring act. The difference between the Argentine side and England yesterday was that the team in blue looked comfortable on the ball, didn't leave fifty yards gaps between midfield and the forwards and actually produced some killer balls where it hurts. Gabriel Heinze showed what Man.Utd missed last season and Roberto Ayala gave a lesson to Rio Ferdinand in ball usage. Unfortunately my next blood test is after the World Cup.




Who said Baldy's can't be stars?

Trinidad & Tobago v England - 2nd Half

Well, if this match was a dog you would have had it put it down, until the final twenty minutes we were awful, too tense, playing too much non-penetrative football and until David Beckham put one of his trademark crosses over for the Giraffe it didn't look like we would score. Michael Owen again looked unfit and if Sweden and Paraguay draw tonight I wouldn't be surprised if some of these players are rested for the final game next week. Stevie G scored past Shaka in the last minute yet again and for the sheer possession we had in that final twenty minutes I suppose we deserved the win. I can't think of any plus points other than the three we got for winning, Lennon came on but didn't really cause their left back too many problems and Rooney was just easing himself into the tournament. Oh and apparently Stewart Downing came on but he only touched the ball once.


Relief all round

Trinidad & Tobago v England - First Half

Well as spectacles go this one should have gone to Specsavers, it's beyond rubbish, in fact rubbish just moved so as not to be associated with this match. Why can't we relax a bit and stop passing the ball to death, up the tempo for ten minutes and run the opposition ragged. There's no change in pace it's slow, slow, slow, slow, slow - I'm sure the boy Rooney will be on within ten minutes of the restart. Things could have gone horribly wrong but for a J.T clearance which saved Paul Robinson's blushes. Mind you, Clive Tyldesley did make the same point as my wife when he said how must you feel as an England player if are constantly hearing and reading that our World Cup hopes rest on Wayne's shoulders. Shaka has had one save to make and Paul Robinson is showing that you don't have to be called David James to make an arse of yourself in an England goalkeepers shirt.





Is it me or is that a smirk forming?

Nuremburg Nightmare or German Glory?

You can get 7/1 for England to win 4-0 later this afternoon and I would have thought that is a minimum requirement against a team of out of contract players, defenders from Gillingham and Wrexham and a goalkeeper playing his penultimate professional game.

Forget all those apologists who say there are no easy games in World Football, there are and this is one of them. If, as we are constantly reminded, England possess three, four or even five World Class players then this is the type of game they should stand up and be counted. On paper this is the biggest mismatch since England met San Marino, fortunately Stuart Pearce will be working for ITV rather than scuffing a backpass, and if we don't win by a minimum of four clear goals there had be some pretty good excuses lined up.

He Should Have Stayed On The Farm

Football fan Sir Elton John has stunned followers of the sport by declaring he has no time for the World Cup. During a sold-out concert at Worcester's New Road Cricket Ground this week, the Your Song singer stunned fans when he raged about not caring for the current international tournament, which started in Germany on Friday.

The lardy baldy singer says, "I love football, but I'm sick of the World Cup. Who cares about Angola versus Portugal? I don't even care about England."

It's Only Once Every Four Years

Swiss underwear company Triumph have launched their World Cup range - the matching bra and knickers are in 'Pitch Green' and are covered with flags of all the competing nations as well as tiny footballs - a practical present and a good excuse to try and explain the offside law and no jokes about getting in the opposition box please!

Available without underwiring for those frequent flyers among us.

An Old Fashioned Trialist Match

Anybody remember those trial games of the late sixties, early seventies? You know, the Improbables v The Highly Unlikely's. Well the World Cup staged the 2006 version tonight when the weakest German team since 1982 played the poorest Polish side ever in Dortmund. Despite the almost rabid enthusiasm of the home fans, apparently the number of tickets applied for was the equivalent of all the W.C venues being sold out tonight, this was a game that didn't take off until two minutes before the end of normal time. Poland looked like a side who didn't think they could win and Germany played like a side who didn't think they could score. Germany, with two Polish born players up front and a Swiss born substitute who would get the winner, had the better of the first half chances and the pattern was repeated in the second half when Jens Lehmann could have got a deck chair out and read a Jeffrey Archer novel (twice).

Having hit the bar twice two minutes from the end of normal time it looked as if both sides would be taking a point away until David Odonkor, the fastest German since Marita Koch, found Oliver Neuville on the six yard line and that was it.

LookyLikey's - Part 1

Bruce Springsteen






Alessandro Del Piero

Sven Goran Erikson

Montgomery Burns

We Can't Help Mentioning The War

Germany play Poland tonight and it was embarrassing listening to Breakfast on 5Live this morning when a sense of menace and foreboding was introduced into the build-up. We can't forget the war even for a match that doesn't involve us, 80% of the German population was born after 1941, do they have to be reminded of the war? It's the same when England play Germany, the tabloids go over board and those wonderful, original and humorous supporters of ours can't help singing, "Two World Wars and one World Cup." I'm sure there's a German supporter who'd love to reply with "Three World Cups and Forty years unrivaled economic growth," but he'd be as popular as the bloke on the terraces at Borussia Moenchengladbach who can't resist shouting "Give us a B."

The two sides last met on 4 September 1996 in the Polish town of Zabrze, when goals from Oliver Bierhoff and Klinsmann enough to see them through 2-0, if Poland don't get a point tonight they'll be the first team going home.

The Final Group Gets Going

"From the Costas to the Canaries, from Cantabria to Galicia," Jonathan Pearce let's no cliche go unspoken as Spanish supporters get the start they must have been dreaming of, Raul is left on the bench. Anybody who has watched any La Liga this past year would have known the three outstanding home grown footballers in Spain have been David Villa, Fernando Torres and Carlos Puyol and all three made contributions to this match. The fourth goal was a bit special from Puyol's crunching tackle in midfield, his one-two with another bloke in a red shirt and then his cushioned header down for Torres to score from the edge of the box with a low shot to the goalkeepers right. As for the Ukraine well you have to feel sorry for Andriy Shevchenko, you wait eight years for a chance to play in the World Cup Finals only to play the last twenty minutes of your opening match alongside Sergei Rebrov.


















In the late afternoon kick-off its Africa v Asia as Tunisia meet Saudi Arabia. The Saudi players will be getting a house, a new car and the Shiekh's wife's recipe for lemon ice-cream as part of their bonus for qualifying. Neither side look like they believe they can win it which is a shame because it means we get to hear ITV's Jon Champion telling viewers that 'a draw isn't any good to either side' every five minutes. Like good sex the build-up is a slow tense affair and then all the excitement comes with a rush in the last ten minutes as Saudi Arabia's 105 year old balding wizard Sami Al Jaber scores to put his side 2-1 up and then two minutes into injury time Bolton's own beef mountain Jaidi Radhi scores with a header from inside the six yard box to send his team into raptures.




Sami Al Jaber indicates the number of Bentley convertible's he expects in return for his sides second goal.

Hail To The Chimp

Breaking news........Wayne Rooney is fit

Prepare for the hype as the boy wonder lines up against Trinidad & Tobago and then cringe as he stubs his toe in the warm-up.

And there's even more good news when it's revealed Gary Neville is injured.

Why Run When You Can Walk?

Remember that old Gary Player saying, "The more I practice, the luckier I get?" well France and Brazil must have been practising big time as our American cousins would say.

James Lawton in the Independent today eulogises Zinedine Zidane and quite frankly I think James must have gone out without his hat on. France were awful and the only thing this match proved is that Arsene Wenger is a better judge of player than Jose Mourinho, the former let Vieira go (good decision) whilst the chosen one is letting Gallas go (bad decision). Thierry Henry was his usual useless self at this level (when it counts) and you'd have to say that any manager will balls would drop Barthez, Vieira, Zidane and Henry at the earliest opportunity.

Brazil displayed exactly the same lack of enthusiasm as France and you have to say that Cafu, Roberto Carlos, Emerson and Ronaldo all lack a certain six appeal. Croatia lacked a decisive killer touch in front of the flapping Dida and but for a superb goal by Kaka the favourites would have gone away with just one point.

The trouble with Brazil is that you never know whether or not they are playing at their best or simply doing enough.

With all but Spain's Group having played I'd have to say the three sides that have impressed me most so far are Argentina, Holland and the Czech Republic.

He's Back!

Otto Pfister is to make a shock return as Togo coach just three days after walking out on the team over a dispute on unpaid bonuses. His return has now been confirmed by the Togolese Football Federation (TFF), this after Pfister’s son and agent, Mike, confirmed that an agreement has been reached to enable his father to resume his duties with the Sparrowhawks.

“Yes, he is back as a Togo coach,” said Pfister Jr. “It is a matter of the heart. The FA has decided to chose him against all other candidates. The players have also tried to get him back over the last days and contacted him, which was the decisive step.”

Pfister Jr also denied rumours that his father had turned down the Crystal Palace job after Simon Jordan had refused him permission to bring Steve Kember in as his number two, Trevor Francis as his number three and Steve Bruce as head coach. Perhaps Otto was just taking the Pfis.

Today's Winning Recipe

LAMINGTONS







Lamingtons, the staple of all good fetes (school or church fairs) are said to be named after Lord Lamington, Governor of Queensland from 1895 - 1901

The cake is easier to handle if it is a little stale; day old cake is ideal. Sponge or butter cake can be used. Lamingtons can be filled with jam and cream, if desired.

Ingredients:
6 eggs
2/3 cup castor sugar
1/3 cup cornflour
1/2 cup plain flour
1/3 cup self-raising flour
2 cups (180g) coconut, approximately

Icing:
4 cups (500g) icing sugar
1/2 cup cocoa
15g butter, melted
2/3 cup milk

Method:

Grease 23cm square slab pan. Beat eggs in medium bowl with electric mixer about 10minutes, or until thick and creamy. Gradually beat in sugar, dissolving between additions. Fold in triple-sifted flours. Spread mixture in prepared pan. Bake in moderate oven about 30 minutes. Turn onto wire rack to cool.

Cut cake into 16 squares, dip squares into icing, drain off excess icing, toss squares in coconut. Place lamingtons on wire rack to set.

Icing: Sift icing sugar and cocoa into heatproof bowl, stir in butter and milk. Stir over pan of simmering water until icing is of coating consistency.

Makes 16 lamingtons

Italy and Czech Republic Win

Italy beat Ghana tonight 2-0 with goals from Andrea Pirlo who was superb all the way through and showed the Ghana midfield that, unless you are Argentina circa 1990, the best way to win matches is by scoring more goals than your opponents. Ghana were unlucky not to get a penalty in the second half but to be honest they were a stereotypical West African side, plenty of endeavour but bugger all up front or in the more creative areas of the field.

If England had Pirlo instead of Beckham and Cannavaro instead of JT we'd win the World Cup.







I left work early to watch the Czech Republic beat USA 3-0 and you have to feel sorry for the Czech side knowing that if they finish runners-up in this group they will probably play Brazil in the next round. We saw three good goals, two of them from Tomas Rosicky who will be playing for the Arse next season - looks like Mr Wenger managed to keep his myopia at bay long enough to spot another good player.




Tomas Rosicky celebrates the goal of the tournament (so far)

Australia Gets The World Cup Bug

Australia 3 Japan 1

Strewth mate. Australia come back from one-nil down with six minutes remaining and score their first goal in the World Cup Finals, closely followed by their second and third. Tim Cahill grabs two and the old Pompey favourite John Aloisi gets the other.







An Oz fan and his inflatable buddy.

Tim Cahill celebrates his second goal.

Group F

Brazil and three others scrapping for second place is how this Group will pan out. Much will depend on the Australia v Japan match which kicks off the group a day before Brazil meet the fourth team in the group Croatia.

Australia making only their second appearance in the Finals have Guus Hiddink in charge, the man many England supporters hoped would get the gig instead of Steve McLaren. Hiddink wasn't impressed when he took charge, what he thought was the team fridge he later realised was Mark Viduka. If Kewell and Viduka produce anywhere near their Premiership form then the Socceroos will be coming home early, if however Schwarzer and Cahill produce their Premiership form then there could be an upset.

Croatia aren't the same side they were eight years ago and progress to the second stage is probably the best they can hope for this year, similarly Japan without home advantage will also struggle to make any impact.

Group E - The Other Group Of Death

You wouldn't bet against Italy reaching the last four, unlike the Italian team themselves who probably would bet on it. Can the most technically adept league in Europe produce the World Cup finalists again? Well, the Italians believe in the power of the number 12: 1970, 1982, 1994 and you know what comes next. Buffon, Cannavaro, Nesta, Zambrotta, Totti and Toni could get into all the other World Cup squads and for at least four of that six this will be their last chance to win an international competition. Italy have the skill and cunning to win this group if they want to - at least that way they'll avoid Brazil.

The Czech Republic have three of the most skilful players in Europe in their side, Pavel Nedved, Tomas Rosicky and Zdenek Grygera and they use them to great effect playing a counter-attack game which should make their clash with Italy a snorefest. The crucial thing in this group will be goal difference as I expect both Italy and the Czech Republic to beat the two smaller nations.

Ghana don't have anybody with enough guile to win a game, Michael 'The Beast' Essien will keep going but unless he can score half a dozen goals he will be on a plane come the end of the Group matches. Ghana will be joined in the early departures lounge by the truly woeful USA

Faith in Something Bigger

Ever get the feeling that there is a higher being watching events? Someone who is planting subliminal messages on the T.V screen so you think about him rather than what you are actually watching?

Opening Match - Michael Ballack is left out with mystery injury

Match 3 - Joe Cole is England's best player

Match 5 - Hernan Crespo scores and then so does Didier Drogba

Match 6 - Arjen Robben scores for Holland

Match 8 - Paulo Ferreira is a surprise omission from Portugal's line-up

Media Whores or Pimp My Match

Listening to the BBC panel after the Paraguay match you would have though we had lost the match rather than won it. Yes, we didn't play well, yes, the heat got to us, yes, Michael Owen isn't fit but hey - Sven changed to a 4-1-4-1 with Owen Hargreaves playing the anchor role and it worked.

At least Terry Butcher told it as it was on 5Live when he said "Who cares about the tactics in the last game, we got three points and have to move on." Butcher did get one thing wrong, as did many pundits except Adrian Durham, it wasn't England fans booing Hargreaves it was German fans booing a Bayern Munich player.

Gabrielle Marcotti made the point onTalkSport last week when he said it was the medias job and duty to stir up interest before and during the World Cup even if there wasn't anything to report. The BBC must have been listening and trying to justify the huge expense and sheer numbers involved in their coverage by constantly recycling the same debate. Incidentally I have to say Martin Jol was brilliant for the Holland game, I used the BBC interactive button and choose 5Live's commentary instead of the T.V and it was refreshing to hear somebody so honest and forthright.

Group D Begins

The Kendo Nagasaki Fan Club convention also happens to be in Nuremburg this afternoon.

Mexico 3 Iran 1

My neighbours, who own our local chippie, reveal themselves as Iranians and not Turks as I had believed for the past ten years, when they go mental as Iran equalise in the opening match of Group D. Rafael Marquez shows all his class by playing four different positions simultaneously and is the Man Of The Match, the Mexican supporters in the ground forget their dislike for International imports when Zinha, the Brazilian with a Mexican wife scores the goal of the match to put the Tricolours 3-1 up with 10 minutes left.

Portugal 1 Angola 0

Pauleta nearly scores after 12 seconds and when he does actually find the net after brilliant work by Figo everybody fears the worst for Angola. ITV's commentator Peter Drury keeps on about how tough life has been for the Benfica player Pedro Mantorras, who comes on as sub in the second half, whilst David Pleat frets that Angola are keeping six back when they should be chasing the game. I actually thought Angola got it right, they didn't want to be embarrassed and the first rule of football is don't concede many (preferably none) goals.




Pauleta adds another goal to his record total.

Lost Royalties Anyone?

If you are either Jacques Morali or Henri Belolo you must hate it if you happen to catch any of the World Cup. So far I've heard Germany, Poland, England and Holland signing one of their football songs to the tune of "Go West", one of the songs the duo wrote for the Village People and later covered by Pet SHop Boys. Perhaps the PRS should set up a special fund for football chants instead of chasing P2P downloaders for intellectual theft.

Group D Preview

This is probably the easiest two to predict who will go through with Portugal and Mexico having better players throughout their squads than Iran or Angola.

Portugal could quite easily go all the way to the final given the talented players available: Tiago, Deco, Cristiano Ronaldo, Pauleta and Figo are all familiar names have all had good seasons, should they win this Group they will probably face Holland who are also considered by many to have final potential.

Mexico have one World class defender in their side in Rafael Maquez who has been outstanding this season alongside Carlos Puyol in the centre of the Barca defence. Andres Guardado is highly thought of but I haven't seen him play yet, they should beat both Angola and Iran so the game against Portugal will decide who plays Holland or Argentina.

Iran have been featured on Asian Soccer on Sky this year and they are good at set pieces, they play a slow patient game and amongst their squad are three or four players who play regularly in the Bundesliga. Their best moment of course was in 1998 when they beat the Devils XI 2-1.

Angola fancy their chances in this group apparently, but I can't see them doing a Senegal or Cameroon and causing an upset in the first game against Portugal in Cologne. They could beat Iran in the final game, so the crucial match will be the match in Hanover against Mexico.

Group C Favourites Grab Wins

Argentina 2 Ivory Coast 1

A CIA operative is using the agency's satellite to watch a female navy officer sunbathing nude on a beach near a Navy base, in the corner of the screen he sees what appears to be a murder taking place and makes a 911 call. Okay, I must confess I didn't watch this one live, Saturday TV is Janis's choice and I said she could watch NCIS as usual instead of this match. But come on, who would you rather spend an hour with, Pauley Perrette who plays Abby Scuito in NCIS or Didier Drogba who plays Mr Sulkypants in the Premiership?



Holland 1 Serbia & Montenegro 0

There has been a suspicion amongst Chelsea fans this season that Arjen Robben has been saving his best performances for the biggest stage and judging by this performance that suspicion was probably right. Holland had more of the possession, despite Serbia having more chances, and although they did make hard work of it, they have three points and can look forward to Friday's match against Ivory Coast knowing that the Ivorians will have to win. Ruud van Nistelrooy looked like a player who hadn't seen much football in a while and apart from Gio van Bronckhurst only Robben looked interested. S & M played in what can only be described as a typical ex-Yugoslavian way (as Terry from The Likely Lads would have said), good first touch, good passing but not good enough up front and prone to moments of petulance.

Great Travelling Support

Nice to see our fans travel from those footballing hotbeds: Warminster and Colchester!

Actually, I've just realised those are two army towns - let's just hope we don't get invaded whilst the army is away.